daines'n around

Something new happened today. I write about it because I'm unsure of how I should feel, and unsure in why other people seem to feel the ways they do.

The newspaper I work at is staffed by hard-working people. Sometimes we disagree on content, quality and story angles but we work together -- and hard -- to produce the best paper possible within our means. This means that whenever something can be improved upon we should feel free to question it, raise an issue and get something changed. We also work with a bare-bones staff. If people call out sick or go on vacation there is always slack to be picked up.

Today, people are setting up all around Provo for the Fourth of July parade that will meander down University Avenue. A story slotted for the front page, A1, detailed how many people were excited about the parade and how they were already staking claim on curb-side seating 2 days (or more) before the parade began.

Our fabulous photographer returned a 'layered' photograph. I use the term loosely, because with all of the classes I ever took about photography and photojournalism, not many would consider it a layered photograph. I don't have access to the photo, but 2/3 of the photo was an intentionally unfocused foreground image that the A1 designer did not want to blow up as the centerpiece art.

After looking for an on call photographer for half an hour without luck, the designer looked at me and asked/suggested, "You're a photographer, why don't you go take a picture for me?" I was hesitant at first. We should have been able to get a hold of a photographer. As the sun quickly approached the Horizon at 8:15 p.m. the designer asked again, "So will you take that photograph for me?"

Despite being shorthanded on readers and designers on the copy desk I took 45 minutes, drove home and walked down the parade route. I walked 7 blocks and no one was outside. On the return trip, after several useless photographs of chairs and roped-off grass sections I happened on a few families who were out. I wanted to make a great photo. I wanted to help the paper out. I was excited because the photo had so much in it, it was almost cliche.

Despite the baby looking at me, I made the photo. I was excited. I had no one to share that excitement with like I used to do in college. I ran back to the paper to continue my design and editing for the night -- an early deadline nightdue to holiday advertising inserts.

While looking for a computer with Photoshop to prep my photograph, I learned that the photo editor was not happy with the manner in which 'a so-called photographer' seemed to have 'gone around them' to subvert the decision he and his photographers made earlier in the day with the 'layered' photo.

I was startled. I didn't realize that taking time out from designing to take a different shot that may or may not have been used at all was some how sabotaging his authority as a photo editor. I didn't hear him say these things, but heard about them third hand from the other copy editors.

The editor still had his hand in looking at my shots and he made the final decision of which photograph to use. He treated me civilly. Maybe it was a caught up in the moment situation. Maybe he really doesn't like me at all. Despite what the underlying circumstances were, I was confused. Why this photograph would undermine anything at the paper?

The joy I felt upon making this photograph was quickly quashed by my interpreted toe-stepping on the photography department. The managing editor was happy to see my enthusiasm to help, but somehow that doesn't bring much solace to me. This photo, as fun as it may appear now represents a whole different aspect of life to me altogether.

Has it come to this, a so-called photographer?