daines'n around

It's nearly 90 degrees at 1:30 a.m. and my computer's fan whirrs a little louder than it usually does in spring. About one year ago, the fan began to sound a little like the spruce goose struggling to lift up the monster of an airplane, and upon inspection it still spins just as fast... just not as quiet anymore.

I graduated last week. Well, that might require a little deeper explanation. Classes ended two weeks ago and I flew to Salt Lake City for a visit. I kept it short because sadly, real life has caught up with me. I came home Tuesday afternoon. I could have gone to my official graduation on the lawn of the library steps that Wednesday, but I didn't.

Is it sad, perhaps, that I won't have a cap and gown photo from my last days at Cal State Northridge? My parents wouldn't have been there to see me, me sister was at work, and most of my friends wouldn't wake up early enough to be seated in the massive bleachers by 8 a.m. I am not too torn up about it.

My online moments are spent hovering and clicking over dozens of job boards and journalism related information sites. My cover letters are beginning to sound the same for each application. I have two interviews this week, and hope to hear back from a few more places.

The sun was so hot today; I wanted it to rain like that explosive release of a tropical thunderstorm that made South America so much different than the southwestern United States.

My chance for free housing slipped away from me suddenly today. So i've pretty much made my priorities as far as searching as follows:

• Find job in:
  
  
  
  1. Southern California
     
  2. Northern California
     
  3. Somewhere else.
     
  
  

• Find a place to live
  
• Pack
  
• Write my senator and congressional representative, and tell all my friends about An Inconvenient Truth and how they should see it. Now.
  
• Move
  

While speaking to a former coworker, and telling him what I'm up to he laughed.
"So, you are looking for a job, and a place to live... Those are like the two most stressful things combined."
"At least I'm not having a baby..."
"Yes. And you don't have to go to war..."
"And I'm not planning a wedding..."
"It's nice you can be so positive."
"Heh. Thanks."

It is one of those decisions that you never feel completely cure that it is the best one to make. Where, when and how should I begin my career after college?

Do I go after unpaid internships and hope that they land me a better-paying job? Do I stay in the town I was educated in thus maintaining my circle of friends and my professional contacts? Do I leave and start all over again?

In what seems to be a family tradition I will be moving soon. I've shared the past three years with my two cats, my father and (for two of those years) my sister. It is going to be difficult to make the change again.

I've had five interviews in the past three weeks, and most of this last week has been waiting for a response. I haven't left the house much at all, in fear that I might miss that important phone call of an unexpected job offer allowing me to retain most of my comfortable friends and familiar environments in Southern California.

My dad looked at me this afternoon as I paced around the house waiting for phone calls, and stroked my unshaven face. It'd been more than 6 days since I had last shaved and I think I wore my blue 'rock music' t-shirt three out of four days this weekend. Time is in some sort of vacuumed warp around me. But as my dad washed the dishes he looked at me and said, "I would have thought you would have enjoyed the down time and not having to work for a while."

I laughed. I like to be busy, with something... even if it is sleepless blog redesign and finally writing something down.

Luckily the world cup has kept me riveted most mornings when I wake up early enough. Until the beginning of this week, it was the only thing I knew with a certainty would take place, and I could count on it to lull me back to sleep or keep me awake.

I couldn't sleep tonight. I've accepted a position out of state. I begin work in Utah July 10. I keep hesitating to say anything to anyone because it is still up in the air. I'm waiting for two other job possibilities to get back to me. I was so sure that they won't be able to beat Utah's wages for the entry-level media position so I felt comfortable in accepting the job.

I have much more to think about. Enjoy the redesign.

No miracle offer in the clutch minutes by Los Angeles, and free housing for a month in Utah means that I'm moving to Utah next week. Now I have to consolidate my stuff into one car trip.

On a sad note Marshmellow, my 16-year-old cat, died this afternoon. She lived a very long life, and I'm grateful for the bonds we dveloped together. My dad seems to be taking it a lot harder than me, but then he has been emotional with everything for the past few months.