I had an outburst last week. It was very uncharacteristic for me. I tell the story to friends, and they all laugh at me because i was quite overwhelmingly concerned about the matter. If preoccupation could pace around the carpet in my bedroom, I'd surely have worn a grand oval in the floor.
I've been struggling as of late. The Daily Sundial is a little sort of brainchild and pride and joy, if i may merge those two clichés together. I am prided when i see someone pick it up and flip through the pages, even if they only look at the pictures.
I've been disappointed with some of the content, both in my arts and entertainment section, and the general news / opinion / sports sections. A few weeks went by without a general meeting of the editors in charge and the lack of communication began to breakdown some of the vital part of a cohesive newsgroup.
At long last we reunited in our previously thrice-postponed weekly meeting, and my concern with lack of communication issue was met with mostly a strong defense by the other editors involved.
The stress of not being able to find enough writers mounted as I searched for someone to take care of just some of the CSUN arts stories. How was I supposed to cover these without writers, let alone the stories around the Los Angeles and Northridge area?
After the meeting I was presented a fax of a story idea and told that I needed to cover said story because my section was lacking. My defense mechanisms went up and i started to get angry that a supportive attitude was not available, but I could easily find someone unsympathetic with the problem I'm having. (Not coincidentally, my problem is not only mine; it is the problem of the entire paper.)
I grappled with trying to calm my on-edge nerves and breathed from behind the rapidly antiquing iMac at my desk. I asked that, if the future, my constructive criticism be a little more constructive and supportive rather than negative and fault-finding. The response I got was ill-thought out and irked me in such a manner that i instantly responded with,
"No, that's just a bitch attitude."
I paced back and forth in my mind for quite a while afterwards. After some apologies on my part, and mine alone sadly, things are on their way back to normal in the newsroom.
I also dyed my hair this weekend.
